Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
