Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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