Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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