so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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