Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
