Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
