guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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