YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
