New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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