Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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