Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
