Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
