my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
