Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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