glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
