She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
