Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
