What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sext me about skeletons
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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