he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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