I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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