There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
