I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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