You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
