Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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