God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
