bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
