I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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