I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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