guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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