trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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