Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
