I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
