put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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