Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My life is pants optional.
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