My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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