Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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