the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
