Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
