you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
