You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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