how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
