She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
