I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
