i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
try to milk me bitch
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