Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
