Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
