Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
