yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
