I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
