Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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