i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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