i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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